#and he's laughing in his corner because seeing all that scandal unfolding entertains him

[hel-phoenyx]

He loves the drama.

if i were famous i would be a menace because i would actively endorse and read my own rpf. i'm giving fanfic recs on Instagram live. i'm making a separate ao3 acc for my public persona. i'm commenting "lmfao i've done that before" and "inaccurate i've never had sex". PR teams hate me, the fandom has mixed feelings and i've been cancelled 30 times in the past 8 months for reading rpf.

[marshmallow-phd]

Friends Don’t

Genre: Friends to lovers, Fluff, angst if you squint?

Pairing: Bambam  x Noona!reader

Summary: What do you do when your best friend suddenly stops talking to you?

A/N: This is the most self-indulgent fic I’ve ever written. I think it’s almost painfully obvious. @smut-wars here it is. Also, forewarning, I needed a female friend so... you’re now in this for a hot second. Enjoy! 

**

It was days like today that you wondered why you were even friends with these losers.

When they’d invited you to come sit in their practice for their upcoming awards show performance, you thought you’d be, you know, actually watching them run through their planned stage.

Oh, no.

What you were witnessing was pure chaos – naturally started by Bambam and Yugyeom, but enhanced by the older members who were supposed to keep them in line. Even Jaebum was participating in the screaming and running around rather than acting like the leader he was supposed to be. You, on the other hand, sat quietly on the couch, arms and legs folded, watching the insanity unfolding in front of you. That is, until your phone chimed. A large grin spread across your face when you read the message.

“Ooo, is it noona’s boyfriend?” Yugyeom teased when he caught you smiling.

Bambam stopped mid-flail, frowning as he turned to you. “(y/n) doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

You said nothing as you tried to fight back the expression that would surely give you away. No, technically, you didn’t have a boyfriend, but you were talking to someone. A very handsome and sweet someone. And it was getting closer to the labeling stage. You hadn’t really told anyone about this newfound love interest and the only reason Yugyeom knew was because he was snoop who had stolen your phone when you weren’t looking. While he couldn’t unlock it, he could still read part of the new messages that were coming in.

It wasn’t like you meant to keep it a secret from your friends. Things were just… complicated. He was an up and coming actor currently starring in the drama that you were a staff writer on. That was something you always had to keep in mind with this… well, not truly a relationship, but the beginning of something. The fans and press could be unforgiving when it came to “dating scandals”. Those two words together made you want to scoff, but you held back. It wasn’t your place to criticize it. Not really, anyway.

Jackson plopped down on the couch next to you, that signature mischievous smirk on his face as he leaned in close. “So. Who is he?”

Placing a finger on his forehead and making him give you your personal space back, you answered, “None of your business.” When you looked at the time displayed by your watch, you sighed. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you guys when you get back from Hong Kong.”

“I’ll walk you to the lobby,” Bambam volunteered.

“No, that’s o-” But before you could finish your protest, he was already exiting the practice room. Jinyoung whispered something to Mark, making the latter give off a Goofy-level laugh. Curious, but in a hurry, you ignored it and followed Bambam out into the hallway.

The walk to the elevator was unusually quiet for the two of you. While Jinyoung had been the first one of the group that you befriended, over time, Bambam became one of your best friends, not just out of the group, but everyone. He was always there to make you laugh or listen when you needed an ear due to the stress of your job. You thought of him as the little brother you’d always wanted.

“So, you’re really seeing someone?” he asked once the two of you were really alone in the elevator.

You shrugged. “We’re talking. That’s about it. But, uh,” the tell-tale smile crept up on your lips again. You couldn’t even finish your sentence. It was like experiencing your first crush in high school all over again.

A heavy sigh came from Bambam. It didn’t take an expert to realize that something was wrong.

“Are you okay?” you asked, reaching out and giving his hand a comforting squeeze.

Pulling his hand out from yours, he ran his fingers through his jet black hair. You were glad he was sporting his more natural color again. Even though he could pull off all colors of the rainbow, the darker color just seemed more… him.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he mumbled.

“If you’re worried about the performance, don’t be. You’ll do great. You always do.” For emphasis, you poked his side where the exposed tattoo peeking through the side his sleeveless shirt. That garnered a small chuckle out of him before the doors opened out into the lobby. “I’ll see you when you get back, okay?”

Bambam nodded. “Sure.” Just as you stepped off the elevator, he called out for you.

“Yeah?”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing. Drive safe.”

“Bam-” The elevator doors closed and you sighed. Something was definitely bothering him, but you didn’t want to push. Besides, if you didn’t hurry, you were going to be late for your meeting.

**

You were dead asleep when your phone began to scream Bambam’s “Party” song out of nowhere. The jerk had set it as your ringtone for him as soon as it was released and you’ve never bothered to change it. Each time it went off when you were awake it made you jump, so suddenly hearing it at two in the morning practically shoved you out of bed.

You rubbed your sore knees that had hit the hardwood floor as you answered the phone, yawning, “Hello?”

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Hey, Bambam,” you greeted groggily. Too tire to actually get back up on your bed, you sat on the floor, your eyelids fluttering from exhaustion. “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing really,” he replied drolly. “We just got back from rehearsals for the show and thought I’d just say hi.”

You laughed. “In the middle of the night?”

“Oh, yeah,” he chuckled along with you. “I forget that you actually get sleep.”

“That’s not funny.” He joked about his busy schedule all the time, but sometimes it was just too much and there more times than you could count that he’d come over to hang out or watch a movie and ended up falling asleep on your couch before the popcorn was even finished in the microwave. At least he was cute when he was asleep.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Okay. Now you knew something was really wrong. He wasn’t teasing you or throwing slightly flirty comments your way. “Bam, what’s going on? You called me for a reason. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Nothing’s wrong. Hey, I’ve got to go. The guys are calling for me.” Click.

You stared at your phone, utterly confused. He was lying. And you knew that not only by the tone of his voice, but for the fact that if the guys were really trying to get his attention, you would have been able to hear them in the background. Inside voices were not on their volume level.

You thought about calling him back, seeing if he’d answer and actually talk to you this time, but you thought better of it. When you saw him again, then you’d make him give you a straight answer.

**

“You are going to get us in trouble!” you hissed as Sangwoo pulled you into a deserted waiting room. He was guest MCing for one of the music shows today and you’d stopped by to visit during a short break.

“I missed you,” he whispered as he beamed at you. It was the kind of smile that made you soft.

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the giddiness you were feeling at this new love. “You saw me yesterday.”

“Too long.” He bent down and kissed you briefly. But your joy only lasted a split second before you spotted someone looking in through the small door window.

“Crap.” Slipping out of Sangwoo’s embrace, you ran for the door, throwing it open to try and catch up to whoever just witnessed your little display of affection. You stopped when you recognized the back of the person walking slowly away. “Bambam?”

He barely glanced at you over his shoulder, an unreadable expression on his face that had you taken aback, before he rounded the corner and disappeared. You went back into the classroom, your concern shifting from yourself to your friend. The giddiness from just a few seconds ago was gone, replaced by something heavier and gloomy.

“Are we busted?” Sangwoon asked.

You shook your head. “No. It was Bambam. He’s one of my closest friends. He won’t tell anyone.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Good. I don’t know how we would have covered that up.”

That statement rubbed you the wrong way. Sure, the two of you had agreed to keep this relationship secret, but that didn’t mean you had to be happy about it. Outright lying felt wrong on too many levels.

Your mood now ruined, you fibbed, “I’ve got to go. We’ve got a brainstorming meeting. But I’ll call you later, okay?” You gave Sangwoo a quick kiss on the cheek and left, your phone already in your hand, hoping that he would answer.

**

Interns and staff members alike were scrambling out of the way as you stormed down the hallways of JYP Entertainment. To say that you were pissed off was an understatement.

For the past two weeks, Bambam had ignored every attempt you made to contact him. Your calls always went to voicemail, your texts were ignored. Hell, you even went to his apartment a few times, but no one ever answered the door. Going the back way through Yugyeom had been useless as well, as he basically blew you off and gave you no logical reason as to why you were being frozen out. What had you done that was so bad?

Last night had been the final straw when you found yourself crying until you finally fell asleep, agonizing over the whole situation. You felt like you’d lost a piece of you. Not even Sangwoo could make it better. He just kept saying that – as a kpop idol – Bambam was probably just busy and didn’t need any distractions at the moment.

Distractions? Since when were you a distraction? In all your time that you’d been friends with the group, you’d never been pushed aside like this, not even when they were double booked in preparing for both a comeback and a world tour. Bambam still always made time for you.

Finally finding the right practice room, you threw the door open, making the occupying members jump. Only four were currently present, stretching out their muscles for another long day of dance practice.

“Where is he?” you demanded.

“Where’s who?” Thankfully Jinyoung hit the back of Jackson’s head for you. You were so not in the mood for his sarcastic remarks.

“Practice is closed today.”

You turned around to find Bambam and Yugyeom standing in the doorway. Crossing your arms, you gave both of them the death glare. While the maknae hightailed it to the safety of his hyungs behind you, Bambam stayed where he was, unaffected.

“Well?” you scoffed.

“Well, what?” he shot back.

Oh, you were so going to kill him. “Are you going to explain yourself?”

“Don’t think I need to.”

“Bambam!” Jackson scolded. Now he was on your side.

Temper flaring, you grabbed Bambam’s wrist, dragged him out of the practice room and into the storage closet at the end of the hallway. You flipped on the light and locked the door, trapping him inside with you.

“Do you realize what you’ve put me through these last couple of weeks!” you exclaimed, trying – and probably failing – to keep your volume down in order to not draw a crowd that would love to eavesdrop on any sort of drama within their vicinity.

“Sorry,” he shrugged, clearly not concerned. “I didn’t think you’d care so much considering you have a new boytoy and all.”

“Boytoy?” What the hell? “You mean Sangwoo? What does he have to do with any of this? Is that why you’ve been ignoring me? If you think that I would just drop you because I have a boyfriend now, then you’re wrong! I’ve been trying to keep things the same between us, but you’re the one who’s been blowing me off!”

He shook his head, jaw strutted out like when he mocked Jaebum. You’d never seen him do that to actually convey his own feelings before. “Whatever.” He tried to get passed you, reaching for the door handle, but you shoved his arm away.

“No, not whatever!” You held back a sniff, scared that you were going to have a repeat of last night, just with an audience this time. “Bambam, talk to me. What is going on? Why do you hate me all of a sudden?”

“I don’t hate you!” he snapped. Once again, he tried to get past you, but you wouldn’t budge. He groaned, taking a step back. “Fine! Do you really want to know?”

“Yes!”

You did not anticipate what he did next.

What you had been expecting was him saying something along the lines of not liking the fact that you kept Sangwoo a secret from him. Or maybe he was upset about you not going to see them first at the music show where they were doing a special stage. Really, you’d just expected him to say something. But Bambam didn’t use words to let you know what had been bothering him lately.

Instead, he cradle either side of your neck, thumbs resting on your jaw as he brought his lips down to meet yours. You felt like the female lead in an old drama, just standing there wide eyed and in shock. But… it didn’t… feel wrong, kissing Bambam. Or… being kissed by Bambam, that is. It was soft and delicate, fearful even, of the consequences of this kiss might be.

Just as your own eyes were beginning to close, however, he pulled away, unlocking the door and stalking out of the closet without a single word of explanation. But you didn’t really need any sort of explanation beyond what just occurred. You’d heard him loud and clear.

Several minutes went by before you could leave the storage closet as well, still too stunned to function properly. You bypassed the practice room where music was blaring loudly. Thankfully the door was closed so you weren’t even tempted to look inside. You needed to get out of the building and you really needed a drink.

**

Bee did an actual spit take went you told her what happened. “He did not!”

Frowning, you cleaned her mess up from the conference room table using the napkin the barista had given you for your own coffee that morning.

It’d been several days since… the incident and neither of you had contacted the other. You didn’t know what to say to him. You didn’t even know what to think. So, of course, you turned to your work wife for a little advice.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “He really did. And I have no idea what to do.”

Bee snorted. “Isn’t it obvious? Dump the actor and date Bambam.”

Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” She took another sip of her coffee, giving you a very pointed look over the rim of her cup.

“He’s my friend,” you argued. “Just my friend. I’ve always thought of him like my little brother. And you know me, I like older guys, not younger. That is a no-go area for me. I can’t- I mean- it’s Bambam.”

“Puh-lease.” Leaning back in her chair, Bee rolled her eyes. “The two of you were never just friends. ‘Friends’,” she even used air quotes to emphasis her thoughts on that seven letter word, “don’t call each other in the middle of the night for no reason. ‘Friends’ don’t cancel plans they’ve had for weeks to make hang out with each other.”

“Okay, you can’t blame me for that. He’s hardly free anymore to hangout. I have to take my time when I can.”

The expression on Bee’s face just told you that you were simply fueling her argument rather than putting it out. Shifting so she was now resting her elbows against the table, she went on, “You seriously need to stop fighting this. I’ve watched the two of you have entire conversations just by looking at each other. Are you really going to sit there and tell me you didn’t feel something when he kissed you? Something that you’ve written about a hundred times but never felt before, not even with Sangwoo?”

You sat there with pursed lips, tapping your fingers against the table. It annoyed you, how right she was. Sure, when you were with Sangwoo you felt a little giddy, but how much of that was due to him being this cute actor paying attention to you versus you having genuine feelings for him?

Being with Bambam was effortless, like breathing. Since your first meeting, the two of you were in sync, always able to tell what the other was thinking. The same things made you laugh and you could sit in silence with him for hours doing nothing and not be bored or uncomfortable. You’d always put him in this box, slapped the label of “family” on him, but what if it wasn’t because that was just how you saw him? What if – subconsciously - you did it because it kept you safe? You couldn’t get hurt if you were the one who kept him at arm’s length.

Sighing, you picked your phone and sent a text to Sangwoo that asked him to meet you in your usual spot away from prying eyes.

“Make up your mind?” Bee asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

“Yeah,” you murmured. “I’ve got to go see Sangwoo first.”

Smirking, she took another sip of her drink. “At least you’re doing it in person.”

**

Why was this so hard? You’d entered this place a million times before. Why did it sudden feel so foreboding?

You’d gone to the JYP building first, thinking you could talk to Bambam and get it over with. But it took you nearly forty-five minutes just to find someone from his group that might know where he was at.

Youngjae was in one of smaller practice rooms that was more for vocal training, alone. Really, you’d heard his voice before seeing him. With his back to you, his fingers danced across the keys of the piano, stopping only for a few seconds so he could right down whatever melody he was putting together. He noticed you in the mirror after a minute or two. “Hey, (y/n).”

“Hey,” you waved back shyly.

Knowing exactly what you were wanting, he didn’t miss a beat. “He’s not here.”

You blinked, your brain apparently deciding to process sentences at a slower speed then normal. “What?”

Youngjae chuckled at you. “Bambam. He didn’t have any schedules, so he stayed home. It didn’t sound like he planned on leaving for anything, so you should probably head over there.”

“Thank you,” you nodded.

“Of course, noona.”

You sighed, leaving him alone to work on his new song while you hurried back to your car.

Now you were standing outside Bambam’s apartment building, wondering if this was really the right decision. What if it was too late? What if you waited too long to try and figure this situation out and now your friendship with Bambam had disintegrated into pieces that were no longer salvageable?

Kicking yourself in the butt, you took that first step into the lobby. It didn’t get any easier the closer you got to the elevator, but you kept going and that was all that mattered. You reached his floor and came to a stop to the door that had once been so friendly and inviting. Would he even answer when you knocked?

Oh, well. Here goes nothing.

You knocked only three times and then waited. Your heart began to race when you heard shuffling coming from the other side. It grew louder until coming to a stop just inside the door. For a moment nothing happened. You began to think you would have to wait out here all night when the lock finally clicked. Holding your breath, you tried to keep composed while Bambam slowly came into view.

“Hi,” you said softly.

“Hey,” he whispered back.

The awkwardness hanging in the air was killing you. “Can I come in?”

He nodded, opening the door wider and stepping aside so you could enter. Cupcake immediately came up and rubbed her head against your leg, purring. You reached down and gave her a couple scratches behind her ears before straightening up to face Bambam. That earned you a few swipes from her paw, but your focus was needed elsewhere.  

The one you really came to see was now leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at you. “What are you doing here?”

“To talk.” Obviously. You cleared your throat. “About what happened the other day.”

“You didn’t need to reject me to my face. Your silence the last couple of days was enough. Or text if you wanted to make it clearer.” Pushing off the wall, he started to walk passed you, but you reached out and grabbed his hand to stop him. You let the fingers of your other hand wrap around his upper arm, like you had when you’d gotten scared in the haunted house last year. You wanted to smile at the memory, but you needed to remain serious right now.

“I’m sorry that I took so long to figure it out.” Your voice came out so small you were straining to hear yourself. But you worried that if you spoke any louder, the trembling fear you were holding back would be more apparent. “I was just… confused. Because I’d always forced myself away from thinking of you in that way. But that didn’t stop me from… feeling this way about you. More than I ever have about anybody. So, if you can forgive me for being an idiot, I’d like to see what we can be.”

Bambam finally made real eye contact with you. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “What about Sangwoo?”

“I broke with him. I couldn’t be with him after- oof!”

Bambam apparently only needed to hear that you were single again. He all but tackled you into a hug, pulling you so tightly into his chest that breathing was becoming a tad bit difficult.

You patted his back. “Um, Bambam? My lungs need a little more room to expand.”

“Oh, sorry.” He let go just enough to take a single step back. He leaned his forehead against yours, sighing in content. “I’ve missed you. More than anything.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” you promised.

“Good.” He stole a kiss – one that you were able to reciprocate this time. He smiled at you and then tugged you over to the couch. “Come on. I’ll order your favorite pizza and we can watch whatever you want. I’m getting as much time in with you as I can before we leave tomorrow.”

Your mood sank as he pulled you down onto the couch next to him, his arms still around your waist. “You’re leaving tomorrow?”

He nodded solemnly. “Yeah. Fan meeting in Thailand. But we’ll be back in a few days.”

“At least you’re going home,” you pointed out, more to make yourself feel better than anything.

“I don’t know,” he smiled crookedly. “Home kind of feels like right here now.”

You slapped his chest playfully before leaning in so his chin was resting on the top of your head. Cupcake jumped up onto your lap, feeling the need to join in on the love fest.

While Bambam called the usual pizza place for delivery, you stared at him, mesmerized by what you hadn’t seen before. Your world had shifted back into place after being thrown so wildly off course. It felt like the universe was balanced once more. Everything had changed and yet nothing had. Bambam could still be your best friend, but he could be more, too. And that was all you needed. Everyone loved the dramas where the leads start out as enemies, but you believed the purest love stories come the ones who started off as friends.

(second moodboard made by @smut-wars)